I WILL COUNT THE STARS

although the rest of
my heartbeats
is lesser
than the twinkling
stars
if it’s your will for me
to number them before I could
touch your hand,
then I start tonight
and even under the leaf
of tomorrow’s
sunlight I will peek at any speck
of brightness
that hides like a needle
in a haystack.

why should I resist
if you’re the sole petal flaming
my life?

even when my eyes
will close eternally along with
the roots of some vines framing
my graveyard, still there
will be multitude of uncounted stars
left and that, though accepted,
is why I am crying now
and my tears are heavy rains
er0ding the valleys of my heart..

but don’t you know
that in the chest of every
numbered star,
there, I engraved boldly,

“I love you until here,
this never ending universe, Isabella…”?

the white clouds
caught and enlarged the shadow of
my words,
re-echoed poetically to the seas,
cities and immaculate forests..

if you’ll get up from bed
at dawn,
observe how
gentle are the fingers of the sun
touching the hand
of the grass;
if you still remember me, I
would have done the same way
and the dew clinging to
our bodies give lushness
to our souls until eternity..

CANDLEGRIEF

English Version of the Poem, LIDAY TI KANDELA, published in BANNAWAG MAGAZINE, issue January 26, 2012.

 

On this table for two,

my arms support the weight

of my forehead 

plowing the wooden surface

and this candle before my head

is weeping and the tears,

like a river 

strongly flowing

towards the sea.

 

(Is the salt  my pain

and the tasteless water your feeling?)

 

 

The fading flame is so lonely

but  still  mirroring 

brightly your face,

kissed by the thickening darkness

that drinks your empty chair in front of me..

 

( Did I come as a moth tonight

or am I  really a moth as a powdery residue

of  my sobbing blaze? )

 

I don’t hear any other sound

except that very sweet 

melody of the band

but  oh, how heartbreaking does it bring!

I WISH TO KISS YOUR MOLE

Hereunder is one of my  poems in iluko language published in KALLAUTANG, poetic of diversity, displacement, and diaspora: ilokanos in  the americas writing which was translated in English and with a critical introduction by Aurelio S. Agcaoili, a writer, a poet, and one of the professors in the University of Hawaii.

Iluko Version:

AGKAK KOMA ‘TA SIDING

Kayatko a pinasen nga agkan                                 1

Ta agpammannimid a siding

Iti ngarab dayta a bibig; siding

A kas tumamtammidaw  nga init

Iti agsapa iti ngatuen ti apagukrad

A petalo ti nalabaga a hibiscus

Ngem napaidam dagiti ramay                               2

Ti rabii ta agtukeng a mangilukat

Iti ridaw ni ridep

A nagsampagaan ti minuyongam

Ngem uray no kasta                                             3

Agur-urayak latta

Iti lukib dagiti nakakidem

A matak, umis-isem a mangkepkepkep

Iti agdadagsen nga arapaap

A sika ken siak

Agpapasto iti duayya dagiti singin a giteb

Ti naginnakkub a barukong iti siled

Ti saan nga agpatingga a tagainep.

English Version of the above iluko poem:

I WISH TO KISS YOUR MOLE

I wish to kiss smoothly                                         1

 Your mole that looks out

On the edge of your lip; mole

That is like a sun taking a peek

In the morning on the newly-

Opened petal of the red hibiscus

But the fingers of the night                                   2

Are selfish for they hesitate

To open the door of sleep

Where the orchard bloomed

With flowers

But despite this                                                   3

I will wait in the eyelid

Of my closed eyes

Smiling while holding tight

My pregnant dream

That you and I shall be satiated

By the lullaby of the entwined throbbing

Of chests in an embrace

In the room of an endless sleep.

 

GODDESS

 

 

Go ahead, talk 

to me.

In front of you, I am 

glued by the enchanting

lyrics of your eyes.

Twin eyes, their color 

changes all the time.

They’re wings of a wild butterfly

in February-flapping extracted

scent on my face; making my heart

to twinkle like how a star

magically pounds in the sky.

Even the flowers in this

rainy Manoa or the mimicking 

black mynahs – they pause 

from dancing hula

as they look at you.

 

But, Deity

these lips sealed

when I am with you.

 

On this patch of

grass, I long

to see  my silhouette

sitting down 

passionately beside 

your lone  shadow

with these strong arms 

around you.

ALWAYS

 

 

 

Here I am

to repave the road

leading to

your heart

which develops potholes

every time there is

downpour

of tears

from your eyes.

HONEYED MOON

I wish I could fuse
my breath to your lips,
your respiration
smells like fresh meadows in
this dewy breaking of dawn-
enlivening,

sweet,

invigorating.The tides
are cadences
of my breathing,
peaceful,
endearing
and as a solitary
earth, I feel
your heaving as you revolve
around me,
o  honeyed moon.
My desire is not
epitomized
through serenading maya’s
on rooftops
or waltzing  lovebirds
on branches  of palm trees.
Sent love letters, too
or bouquet
of flowers knocking
your door,
outwit not my way
how I draw closer to you.
But I offer myself to you
tonight-  catch me,
accept me
as a handful of rice
thrown outside the window
as you rise behind
the hawaiian mountains
to fold darkness
of this starless sky.

FIBBER

Desolation howls

From the eerie footsteps 

Of memory;

It wriggles on my skin 

And I am hiding underneath 

This clean sheet of sleep

But oh, nightmares await here,

Sneeringly  smiling at me.

I am avoiding twilight

To knock at my door;

I am running away as it chases

Me with the arrow 

Of bitter past, unleashes it right 

To my heart

And now I slipped 

And I am hanging on

To the brim of my hollowed eyes.

You said before to follow 

Your path,

A road carpeted with flowers 

And soothing grass 

Which you 

Whispered to me  a paradise 

But only to find myself 

Gasping from cascading sobs.

You are a scourge

Rubbing your sullied and itchy skin against

The edges of yesterdays you deceived

After soaking yourself

In your own mud.

 

___________________

*English version of my   first Ilokano Poem , KUSIT, published in Bannawag Magazine, June 9, 2008.